Monday, August 18, 2008
This mid-morning is a grey and cloudy, somewhat suffocating kind of day. I am standing inside the laundromat I visit every week, waiting, with a heavy impatience, for my clothes to finish drying. I drift off, thinking the way I do, about my life, pondering it's existence. What is the "one" feeling, need, key to happiness that I yearn for to reach that feeling of utter completeness? Someone to love and someone to love me. Now, this seems like such a simple proclamation but such is not the case!!! If I examine this with a little more scrutiny I must understand what this means to me.
Someone to love.........to me, the person I choose to give my wholeness to, which in essence means, not only my heartfelt emotions but my understanding and acceptance of the person they truly are. I would like to exist for them in the sense of knowing their likes and dislikes, the way they interact with other individuals, and how they view life as it pertains to them. I want to do this but not to the point of compromising myself. I believe a certain amount of compromise truly helps a relationship grow and attain the level of respect you desire from your partner. Of course, the basic issues of respect, trust, monogamy and deep love are the foundations of any relationship. I would also require beauty of the inner self as well. I want to hear Puccini when I look at him.
Now, when speaking of someone who loves me........another story......well, sort of. I am prone to think that one's life is constantly changing, as does one's views and opinions. I can only hope that "the one" will treat me as an equal, no matter how our status compares to one another. I want someone who cares that I have had a rough day and tries to make it better. One who knows what I am thinking and how I think. One who knows what is important to me and respects those things as equally as his own importances. The man who loves me must posses confidence, and the ability to except me as I truly am! I would like to be swept off my feet, but not in a big way, small endeavors count more to me. Each relationship in life evolves differently due to many factors. I can only hope that the next "man of my dreams" is the actual missing link in my life....and now the waiting begins....as I laugh and crack a knowing smile. Angelo