Monday, August 18, 2008
This mid-morning is a grey and cloudy, somewhat suffocating kind of day. I am standing inside the laundromat I visit every week, waiting, with a heavy impatience, for my clothes to finish drying. I drift off, thinking the way I do, about my life, pondering it's existence. What is the "one" feeling, need, key to happiness that I yearn for to reach that feeling of utter completeness? Someone to love and someone to love me. Now, this seems like such a simple proclamation but such is not the case!!! If I examine this with a little more scrutiny I must understand what this means to me.
Someone to love.........to me, the person I choose to give my wholeness to, which in essence means, not only my heartfelt emotions but my understanding and acceptance of the person they truly are. I would like to exist for them in the sense of knowing their likes and dislikes, the way they interact with other individuals, and how they view life as it pertains to them. I want to do this but not to the point of compromising myself. I believe a certain amount of compromise truly helps a relationship grow and attain the level of respect you desire from your partner. Of course, the basic issues of respect, trust, monogamy and deep love are the foundations of any relationship. I would also require beauty of the inner self as well. I want to hear Puccini when I look at him.
Now, when speaking of someone who loves me........another story......well, sort of. I am prone to think that one's life is constantly changing, as does one's views and opinions. I can only hope that "the one" will treat me as an equal, no matter how our status compares to one another. I want someone who cares that I have had a rough day and tries to make it better. One who knows what I am thinking and how I think. One who knows what is important to me and respects those things as equally as his own importances. The man who loves me must posses confidence, and the ability to except me as I truly am! I would like to be swept off my feet, but not in a big way, small endeavors count more to me. Each relationship in life evolves differently due to many factors. I can only hope that the next "man of my dreams" is the actual missing link in my life....and now the waiting begins....as I laugh and crack a knowing smile. Angelo
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Yesterday I took another step toward my goals of moving to and working in Italy. I was able to apply for a passport!!! I felt another layer in my armor of constriction lift from my mind. I shall have the first ingredient to my feeling of "La Dolce Vita" in 3-4 weeks. I have been studying the climate, culture, language and passion of my long lost homeland. When someone looks at me, I am perceived to be a true German. I may look like a man of German descent but my heart and soul are that of an Italian. It is like I am destined to live my life in the Italian-style. I know at this point I want it bad enough that I am willing to open doors within myself that have been closed for years. I wish I had a video camera or at least a digital camera to record my steps of transformation and chronicle my goals as they are reached. Maybe I can find some extra money somewhere to purchase one. Until my next outburst>>>>>>Angelo
Monday, August 4, 2008
It is a wonderful thing to watch a movie and actually learn something you can apply to your own life, no matter how small. I was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" last night. I am sure a lot of you are familiar with this wonderful romantic comedy. Although there are many great stories and lines within the movie, one line really hit home with me. In the picture above, Cortona's crazy blonde Catherine, who Francesca befriended, is telling her "never lose your childhood enthusiasm." How true I feel that is, because when we lose that innocence we tend to become complacent and dried-up. I also feel that particular statement ties in with romance as well. People always seem to say "I don't want to get hurt again" well people, part of the ability to love is to be willing to endure the pain that comes along with it. Io sonno insperabile romantico! Ciao, Angelo