SERENITY FOUND

Tribute To A Beautiful Voice

2012-01-28T07:42:00.000-05:00

Anita Cerquetti: a most beautiful voice I had never heard until 2 nights ago.

I have a friend online with whom I have the love of opera in common. We were comparing our favorite soprano divas and he of course said his was Maria Callas. I must admit, I was disappointed because although Callas was one of the best in her genre both technically and dramatically, her voice has never moved me inside my heart, which is the reason I listen to opera. :)

So, getting to the reason for this post. I thought maybe I could give Callas another listen to maybe prove myself wrong. I went to YouTube and looked for her singing Casta Diva, which is the measure I use to size up mezzo-sopranos, which are my favorite type of soprano. I gave Callas another chance, and, stood firm to my opinion. Afterwards, I started listening to many great mezzos and then saw THIS particular video. I had never heard of Anita Cerquetti so I decided to give her a try. This recording is actually a LIVE performance from 1958 when she stood in for Maria Callas because of illness. How ironic for me...lol. I started to listen to the most beautiful and full voice I had ever heard. There is a richness and deep timbre in her voice that sends me into orbit....and YES, moves my heart enough to bring tears to my eyes! Give her a listen and try to tell me this is not a PRIMA VOCE!

HH~
ANGELO

HAPPY 2012!

2012-01-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

Here we are, at the start of another new year....so tell me, why do we use this as the time to turn a new leaf in our lives or start a renewal of practices we let fall to the wayside? Is the new year our signal that it is time for us to do these things? I also notice this with the Christmas season as well....everyone goes out of their way to be kind and thoughtful and forgiving. Hmmm....why do these events trigger such thinking? Is man conditioned to do so?

I am making a proposal to all of you this year. MAKE EACH DAY a Christmas or New Year ;) Strive to understand the truth about yourself inside first; this is the MOST important step, and then have the courage to be truthful, not only to yourself but with everyone you know and love.

Some examples to think about:
-help out a fellow human being with a random act of kindness
-volunteer at a local shelter, food pantry, hospital or pick someone to help out on your own
-stop being afraid to do what you need to do before it is too late for your own happiness
-make NO excuses for your actions or words
-don't worry about what other's think but never do things to hurt someone intentionally
-always be truthful in your communication....don't say the words you think other people want to hear

These are just a few examples of what can be done to reach your goals. Granted, a lot of things will be painful for you to say or do but it is out of necessity that you do it in order to be free in your mind and body. I did not promise it would be easy or that you will always follow this path but it is something worth striving for and in the long run you will thank yourself for doing things that set you free :)
The time to start is now!

HH~
ANGELO

Christmas Memories

2011-12-09T09:11:00.001-05:00

Do you have a song that brings back fond memories? My heart and mind are governed by music! This special children's song used to be sung by myself and another fellow friend where I worked many years ago. Each year as we set up our store for Christmas, this was the first song to be sung. The rest of the store knew it was not official until Cindy and I teamed up for this duet :)

I lost track of Cindy until just recently and reconnected with her via email (which I received through another mutual friend) and the title of my email had this title in it to let her know it was me.

Such a nice feeling to know that music and people have such a powerful impact on our lives!

HH~

ANGELO

Antique Music

2011-11-01T07:38:00.001-04:00

Buon Giorno faithful readers! I want to share with you a "sentimental journey." This trip started on Sunday, October 23rd. Let me start out by saying, I have ALWAYS desired an antique phonograph of my very own. As long as I can remember I have searched in antiques shops, classified ads, attended auctions and estate sales but always coming up empty handed. What I found was either too expensive or, if it was the right price, involved too much work to restore it. When I moved to my current city about 4 years ago, I discovered Craigslist and have searched on this site since. Again, coming up empty handed for the same aformentioned reasons..........until.......last Sunday evening when I was once more pounding the Craigslist antiques section and.....VOILA!...there it was...a beautiful floor model phonograph that was unbelievably in my price range (80.00)!!!! I just stared at it. When the shock wore off...I quickly emailed the poster and asked two major questions....do you still have it?...and.... is there anything wrong with it? I nervously waited for my inbox to show a reply. It came before I decided to turn of the computer for the night. I mumbled a little prayer and opened up the email. The reply: yes, I still have it.......the lid needs to be re-attached. That's it?!?!? OMG! I could barely write down the phone number the woman gave me....and....I had to go to sleep.

I called her from work around 9:30 Monday morning and we decided to wait until Tuesday at 9 a.m. for an appointment to see it in her home. Tuesday morning at promptly 9 a.m. I ring the doorbell and was greeted by a woman with a softness to her demeanor and was taken to the item in question. I just stared at the phonograph and she had to initiate the inspection to knock me out of my shock. There before me stood a beautiful mahogany 1916 Pooley Grand Prix Eufonola. She explained to me that it had been her mother-in-law's, who bought it when she started working in the early 1930's. When they acquired it she said the finish was alligatored so they had it professionally refinished. I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation but I connected with this women because of her love for preserving old things. She is an architect and an artist. Her house was of course my favorite 1920's bungalow style restored to perfection with a two-story addition that one could not even begin to realize was an add-on. She is an enamel on copper artist on top of this and some of her pieces are gorgeous.

We decided I should return the next morning to pick up the phonograph with my friend Bob. I was there a little early so we had time to chat before my friend arrived. We talked about her work and classes I could take from her this winter for enameling. She showed me 3 enamel bowls she had and explained they were for sale at half the cost but I declined because they were still too expensive and I decided to load the records (she gave me for free) into my car. When I finished, I came back into the house and she presented me with my favorite bowl as a gift. I was stunned! I told her I could not accept and she said "Merry Christmas."
One does not run into people like her too often in life and that is one reason I had to write about it because I want to treasure this experience when I can no longer remember things. Secondly, it is not too often I encounter such individuals.

HH~

ANGELO

Tamarix Ramosissima

2011-10-12T05:46:00.002-04:00

Look at the ethereal beauty of this tamarix shrub! How could you NOT be captivated by it's many alluring qualities. My first memory of this mild climate looking shrub is of it growing in one of my grandparents' many perennial beds on their small farm. Picture a two story, old, pink farmhouse with a double front porch and white wrought iron railings :) Now, picture a five foot two, dark-haired Italian woman and a six foot one, strong as an ox German man. They raised pigs and then cows and when they could afford it, they got dressed up and drove the farm truck to the nearest big city to enjoy a night at the local opera house listening to beautiful music. They were full of passion, and gardening was one of those passions. I am very fortunate to have these memories in my life!

This shrub is very versatile and beautiful if given the correct setting and attention. This is not a shrub for the faint of heart :) You can let the tamarix grow to it's natural 8-10 foot height while the branches grow thick but unfortunately the branches start to split after so many years and then you are forced to have an out of balance look. It keeps the more graceful appearance and blooming capability when you keep it pruned for renewal growth because it blooms on new growth. The leaves are a grey-green and have sort of an evergreen look, but I assure you, the tiny leaves turn a beautiful gold/red in the fall and drop to the ground like any deciduous shrub. The spacing of this shrub is actually determined by the gardener but a good rule of thumb is to allow for at least 8-10 feet for it's graceful arching quality. As you can see, it flowers abundantly with tiny rose-pink florets en masse. It requires full sun for the best bloom but will do relatively well in partial shade. Once established, it is quite drought tolerant because of it's long tap root and is hardy from zone 2a-8b. I have seen where it is listed on the North Dakota Invasive Plant List but, honestly, I don't think it applies to all regions. Like with anything in life there is good and bad and you can make your own choices :) Me?.....I bought the shrub this fall for planting so we will see if it is as bad a foe as North Dakota claims....lol. My grandparents certainly don't think of this shrub as an enemy ;) Plant from the heart folks!

Happy Gardening!
HH
Angelo

2011-09-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

RUDBECKIA TRILOBA

Hello everyone! This installment is covering one of my favorite, and for some reason, elusive flower. I discovered this perennial/biennial by shear accident about 17 years ago in the herb bed of the house I had just moved into. A little 90 year old woman had lived there, actually the only owner of the house since it was built in the 1940's. We moved into the house in the month of March and I eagerly awaited to see what was growing in the flower beds. I watched what I thought was a weed for several months and came close to pulling it right out of the ground. Thank God I didn't because I was rewarded with this beautiful airy yellow/orange and brown flower when much of nothing else was blooming. I fell in love with the fact that it grew to nearly five feet and the flowers seemed to float in the air. I found out later (next spring) that it had an extra bonus of self-sowing. A few people would find this annoying and slightly invasive. I never looked at it that way...I just pulled out what I didn't want :)

I am a very sentimental gardener, so this year I built a house and one of the plants I wanted most was this perennial favorite that won my heart. I had a lot of trouble finding it until I went to a local perennial grower for an open house and discovered they were growing the plant I coveted. I was to say the least, ecstatic! Although I have it now, I was not able to enjoy the simple pleasure of it's beauty this year. I have something to look forward to next season.

Here is the general information to see if it will become a favorite of YOURS!

It goes by 3 different names. Rudbeckia Triloba, Brown-Eyed Susan or Three-Lobed Rudbeckia. It is classified as a perennial/biennial which means essentially that it comes back every year but not always in the same spot. It grows 3 to 4 ft. high (I have witnessed it reaching 5ft) and 2 to 3 ft wide. It is hardy from zones 3-10 and requires full sun to partial shade. It takes it a while to show you it's charms because it doesn't bloom until late summer into fall. Like I said, not much else was blooming. It's water requirements are average but don't overwater or it will surely perish. As far as the slightly invasive habit, if you don't want it to reseed freely cut off the seed heads before they dry, or if you are like me, let them reseed and decide where you don't want them in the spring by simply pulling them out :)

HAPPY GARDENING & HH

ANGELO

MISSING YOU!

2011-09-21T07:20:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone!

It has been too long (a year and a half) since I have posted anything at all. I have been quite busy with a new love, building a house, and ultimately keeping myself relatively healthy. I am slowly getting back into my former habits...such as reading, seeing my friends and family, decorating projects, and all the little quirky things that make me smile. This...blogging....I have missed a lot! So, I am back to share a little bit of my world again in the hope that it can help someone out there laugh, cry, blush, cringe, joke, or look at life a little differently....but most of all, perhaps think differently :)

HH~
ANGELO

Introducing The Don'ts Of Conversation

2010-05-04T17:02:00.000-04:00

Hello! It's me again :) Today is a "pointing the finger" kinda day! I am referring to people who don't know how to carry their fair share of a conversation!! :( I mean, really, do you think saying just "hello" to introduce yourself is going to be a real conversation starter? Especially if you know the person you are speaking with? The answer is.......NEVER!

Granted, I can be quite shy when meeting new people but what happens when you just reply to questions with a "yes" or "no" answer? I will tell you what happens... that other individual you are talking with is inside his head thinking...how in the hell am I going to get out of this one?...B-O-R-I-N-G!!!!!

I urge you to please have some consideration for the people you intend to engage in conversation. You can most likely be even nicer than Donna Reed but that will not help if you can't carry on a simple interesting dialog with another individual. This especially holds true if you are chatting on a site that one has to wait quite a while (by today's computer standards) to receive an answer. You wait ALL that time and then receive a tiny, non-stimulating response.......AGGRAVATING!!! If I were not so polite I would click you off in an instant :)...but I am nice, so I am giving you a little advice, instruction, whatever you would like to label it.

Happy chatting!! :)

Ciao and HH

ANGELO

Living With COPD (Kartagener Syndrome)

2010-03-14T05:31:00.000-04:00

To look at me, one would never realize that I have this disorder...Kartagener Syndrome. It is an internal process so it is only announced by an external application such as wearing oxygen tubing to provide the level of oxygen your body needs to function properly. Since I do not wish to type out the definition and description of this disorder, I am providing the link to the Wikipedia version which will give you a little insight. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primary_ciliary_dyskinesia

Assuming you visited the link, did you learn anything? :) My main reason for letting my readers know about this personal, and up until now concealable disorder is that I am at the stage where I can not hide my physical ailment any longer. This past Thursday I went for pulmonary function testing and then paid a visit to my pulmonary doctor. The outcome was not a good one and so now I am breathing in mechanically produced oxygen through a tube that goes into my nose.....24/7......I HATE IT!!!!!!

I didn't mind, and even accepted this disorder as just a part of my life. My mother has told me that I have always had a positive outlook, even as a child, which got me through a lot because I was a sickly baby, going through many surgeries and procedures before the age of six. This disorder went undefined until I hit 40, seven years ago. Since then it has steadily gotten worse. It has progressed really only because I have not had the proper medical insurance or none at all and that meant I could ill afford the treatments conducive to keeping this disease at bay. So, here I am with this NOT so pretty accessory attached to my face, like a big north star blemish, and a tank (although be it small) hanging to my side via shoulder strap. How inviting for casual conversation with handsome strangers! Yes, my worst fear is that I will die alone because no one wants to be involved with someone who's mortality may be shortened. Should I even be thinking about this?

Sometimes my positive outlook takes an inward nosedive to bitterness in the land of "why me?" Sometimes I think this is the reason I have a low tolerance for whiny people and people who have everything and yet still complain how awful their lives seem to be compared to the rest of the population. Maybe it's just my attitude.........period. I am not certain of all my thoughts and feelings but I deal with them on a daily basis and decipher them as needed.

I will deal with this newest ordeal and return to the "normal" me shortly.......................I think.......hmmmmmm. :)

ANGELO DE GIOIA

Bitchy Judgement Day

2010-03-08T06:39:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago while on Facebook, a guy I thought to be a nice person was giving a post by post description of his thoughts. He usually does this for award shows and such and can be quite comical. Last night was different. He was quite bitchy in his approach of describing different actors. What they were wearing, how they looked, the hairstyle...blah, blah, blah. He said that "Penelope Cruz is so unattractive and speaks like a deaf indian lady...dot not feather...sorry deaf indian ladies." So, tell me, is this not only in bad taste but also laced with a little racial negativity? First of all, I love Penelope Cruz but most importantly, I think he was being bitchy and racist rolled into one. So, I asked him in the public forum "what was wrong with Penelope" and his reply along with more than several of his cronies disgusted me with the negativity and hate! Being the gentleman that I am, I privately messaged him a HOT picture of Penelope and told him how disappointed I was with him. What do you think happened? HE BROUGHT IT BACK TO THE STAGE!! I couldn't believe it when I saw his next post. Basically, he sent out a not so sincere apology directly to me (which riled up his cronies) and stating....I stand by my words and this is America where we can have our own opinions and we have to respect everyone's opinion......NOT COOL! We are lucky to have such a freedom, yes, but so many individuals misunderstand that it is a PRIVILEGE to speak one's opinions and a wise person chooses when and how, if ever, to express those opinions. I myself have learned it is a good thing to lock up the mouth sometimes and listen to others :) I was so angry that I was up hours after I should have gone to bed thinking about all the people I knew like him. Ugh...why do I waste my time!

Help me out here, please! Why does it appear to me that the majority of gay men I have met feel it is their duty to dispense bitchiness in the form of degrading, demeaning, belittling, discrediting, tarnishing, disapproving, and devaluing other human beings and other minorities for the pure enjoyment of the "fun" of it? Has anyone ever told these people that this behavior doesn't match their pretty faces? They need to work on the inside as well. I am not saying that I have never tried the role of bitchy on for size and I can actually protrude quite the serpents tongue when needed. I choose rather to be kind and have found that it benefits everyone :) I know a lot of gay men are insecure with themselves. I wish they would just deal with it and stop being so bitchy. Those good looks they try so hard to preserve on the outside will shrivel up like a sour prune before they know it!

ANGELO

What a Cello!

2010-02-18T06:06:00.000-05:00

While looking on YouTube yesterday for the music of my previous post, I discovered another amazing artist, Stjepan Hauser. He is a cellist who's solos accompanied by piano are life-stopping. I love discovering new artists that move me! See what you think.

My Favorite Aria

2010-02-17T19:56:00.000-05:00

I know it has been waaaaaaaay too long since my last post....Wilmaryad will agree :) So....having said that and admitting my fault, I am starting my first post of the year 2010 with a sublime aria I happened to think of today and searched on YouTube. Mon Coeur S'ouvre A Ta Voix written by the composer Camille Saint Saens for the opera Samson et Dalila. I searched through various well known mezzo-sopranos but not finding the one voice I recalled quite vividly in my youth. One mezzo led to another and yet another until I stumbled on a singer whom I had never heard but INSTANTLY knew it was the voice from my past! I was absolutely thrilled and started to cry. After listening to the performance I came down to reality and looked at the information. I started to laugh because it was a Romanian mezzo-soprano by the name of Elena Cernei. You are wondering why I laugh at this? It is because the beautiful soul I have fallen head over heals for happens to be Romanian as well and it struck me as such a coincidence :) Try to tell me this aria does not move at least part of your heart!

I Belong To You (Il Ritmo Della Passione)

2009-09-19T19:14:00.000-04:00

The title says it ALL! Such a beautiful, passionate song that you could dedicate to anyone you are seriously in love with, madly passionate about, truly infatuated with, or simply falling in love with that perfect someone you have always dreamed of finding. Well, I am dedicating this delectable number to a certain guy in Romania who I shall keep nameless to protect him (or maybe to keep away the competition).

We have only known each other a short while but when you know it is right......YOU KNOW!!!

I am thinking of you with all my heart I.S. :)

Yours~

ANGELO

Sta Passando Novembre~Eros Ramazzotti

2009-09-17T07:27:00.000-04:00

I happened to hear this beautiful song when I was watching some Eros Ramazzotti videos and fell in love with it. It is a sad song because he is singing about losing a loved one and trying to reconnect and deal with their death...at least that is my interpretation. I have now become a HUGE Ramazzotti fan because his music is easy to listen to and beautiful. I have also discovered another old song by him that I am currently using as a song dedicated to a special person :) I will post it later and give you some time to think about the song...if you know me, you might even guess it AND guess why I have posted it :) I dedicate this song to Ed Whitt and Donald Morgan Jr. whom I remember with much love and who's endings came MUCH too soon. Mi amici bellisimi!!

ANGELO

Astilbe Straussenfeder 'Ostrich Plume'

2009-06-24T09:13:00.000-04:00

Today's featured garden choice is the Ostrich Plume Astilbe. I chose this astilbe because of it's uniqueness amongst the other varieties. I remember seeing it years ago when I had my landscaping business. I walked into a local grower's nursery and saw this astilbe blooming in one of their perennial borders. It was magnificent and definitely a showier version of it's siblings. I instantly fell in love! I inquired about it and the grower told me that it was hard to find because people don't realize it's ethereal quality. So....... most growers won't take the risk of it not selling to local garden centers. Hmmm...isn't that what life/business is all about?..taking risks? I digress. The reason I like it, as with most plants I choose, is because it is different from what everyone else likes. I like popular plants as much as anyone but I tend to drift towards what no one else seems to have the imagination to try. :)

This astilbe is hardy from zone 4 thru 8. It grows to a higher height than most, 2~3ft high with a 1~2 ft spread. Per photo, this astilbe grows in clumps and the large, loose, weeping panicles of pink bloom June thru July on arching stems. Stunning!! Like all astilbe this one prefers a part to full shade position in your garden with moist, humusy, organically rich soil. Whatever you do, the astilbe must not be allowed to dry out because the leaves will start to curl and turn brown....that's just uncalled for ugly. You will be able to tell when this astilbe needs to be divided because it will produce fewer flowers and leaves. Normally...most perennials like to be divided every 3~4 years so you should have a gardening bible, of which I call a calendar, to know when anything has been planted.

I do hope you will experiment with this beautiful gem and as alway....Happy Gardening!

ANGELO

Hydrangea Serrata 'Preziosa'

2009-06-23T07:50:00.000-04:00

In case I didn't mention this in my last post, all the plants I will be writing about are either planted in my shade garden or I want to add them in the near future.

Today I am excited to present to you a hydrangea that I feel has gotten very little exposure since it's introduction in 1961. I first saw this beauty in a gardening magazine about 10 years ago that featured an article on Heronswood Nursery and I fell in love!!! I realize that the general public likes the big showy mophead varieties (the mentality of seeing something shiny I suppose...lol) but this particular hydrangea gives you a multitude of visual interests throughout the growing season.

First, it is a serrata which is also commonly called a Sawtooth type of hydrangea. It is on the small size growing 3~4 ft. in height with the same width. It's blooms, as you can see in the picture are a mophead style but much smaller. They begin white, pale green, pink or lavender and mature through the season to an intense mauve and mottled with a darker burgundy color. What more can you ask for in interest? I will tell you. The leaves which have a toothed edge emerge tinted with purple. As they mature they change to green and then back to red and purple hues in the fall. Wait! There is more! The stems vary fom green with a maroon tint to dark maroon color. I think this hydrangea is at it's peak of beauty in the early fall when these colors seem to be intesified with the other colors of nature surrounding them.

This beautiful slice of gardening heaven is hardy to zone 5a to 8a. In the zone 5 area it is a good idea to protect it from winter conditions ie: wind, too much snow or not enough, and heaving caused by thawing and freezing. Simply use burlap to surround the plant and fill in with a loose leaf mulch. Please give it a protected afternoon shady position in your garden with an acidic soil content. This hydrangea blooms in midsummer on old wood so do not prune it except for removing spent flowers and weak or winter damaged stems in early spring. It also has no serious insect or disease problems. Believe me, you will NEVER regret having this beauty in your garden :) Happy gardening!!

ANGELO

Hydrangea Arborescens

2009-06-18T07:36:00.000-04:00

I am a HUGE fan of hydrangeas and wish I had enough room in my garden for ALL of the varieties but alas I only possess enough space for a few well chosen favorites....kind of like your friends :) Hydrangea Arborescens is one of those favorites, also known as the Smooth Hydrangea, the "Annabelle" variety being the most widely known and popular. I have added it to my shade garden for obvious reasons but there are many other reasons to have it in your garden as well:

~easiest hydrangea to grow

~fast rate of growth

~adaptable ph

~long flowering period (June-September)

~in general, trouble-free

This hydrangea grows 3-5 ft. in height and 3 to 5 ft. and larger in spread. It multiplies by suckers from the roots which means it is very easy to share with your friends :) It is hardy from zone 4 thru 9 but the further south you are the more afternoon shade and moisture it will require. It transplants well and will reward you if you provide it with a rich, well-drained, moist soil. The hydrangeas favorite position...NO, not that kind... is a site with morning sun and afternoon shade. It will definitely let you know when it requires a drink of H2O, the leaves will not only droop but they will develop a dog-earred look over a period of time. There is a list of possible diseases and insects that bother it but I don't like negativity so we won't go there. The truth is, I have never experienced any of the problems the "experts" list and I have been growing this hydrangea somewhere in the United States for 15 years. This shrub flowers on new wood so you can prune it back hard in the spring or you can let it go then prune it after it's initial flowering and you should get another bloom cycle in September.

The disappointing characteristic of this particular hydrangea is the fall palette....basically, there is none. The leaves turn yellow, the flowerheads brown and it just looks like a very unattractive mess...do you know anyone like that? I might suggest that you harvest the flowers while they are that beautiful shade of light apple green and dry them for a nice winter bouquet or even a wreath. I still have my dried Annabelles in a vase from last season....still beautiful I might add! If you have a spot in your garden for this flowering shrub I would HIGHLY recommend that you add it now and you will surely be rewarded. Happy Gardening!!

ANGELO

Lament of a Garden Center Employee

2009-06-09T05:27:00.000-04:00

I remember when I started gardening..many moons ago. I sat down with a few books from the local library and started a little something called RESEARCH. Those of you who don't comprehend what that means....it is a fact finding mission where you gather information, analyze it and come to a conclusion. Plain and simple...right? To me, there is a straightforward approach to finding out information you require for any project, let alone gardening. There is an abundance of information out there concerning the act of manning a shovel or water hose but like anything else, you must decide what is truly best for you and experiment. Gardening is about using your God-given brain and trial and error to find what works.

I honestly enjoy discussing gardening and giving good advice.... BUT... can anyone tell me why millions of people descend upon their local garden centers each spring like a bunch of hungry locusts and drive those of us who work there to the point of madness with idiotic questions and I might add, the same questions over and over. Then also tell me why most of my conversations go something like this: Scuse me! Can you help me? I have an area that is such and such a size and I want a plant that is drought tolerant, blooms all summer, and doesn't get any higher than this(as they show you with their hand how tall off the ground they mean), and I don't really have time to fuss with it. Inside my head I am choking this individual within an inch of their sorry existance...but I smile and gather all the pertinent information and try to come up with an idea as I flip through my cranial rolodex. As with many of the customers, I finally give them a suggestion and the reply is "I don't like that"...so back to the choking image I go and think of another direction to turn. The problem is that most people want the biggest bang with not a lot of work. Hmmmm...imagine that! Hence the lazy, self indulged gardener. Yes, the same one who instead of taking time to enjoy the beauty around them says to me(because I am the first person they see) scuse me!...do you work here?(as the company name screams off my tshirt)....where are the vegetable plants? I point ten feet away and turn back without uttering a sound.

I can certainly distinguish between who is genuinely trying to understand and has done a little homework and the ones who just get an idea stuck in their heads because they saw something they like and want it in their very own yard. Sorry folks...here's the wake up call....nature does not...I repeat, does not alter itself so you can be the envy of all your neighbors. The very act of gardening is supposed to bring a calmness to a few hours of your day. Mother nature rewards you when you pay attention to things like natural light, wind direction, water requirements and most of all, using the gifts she has provided to get the best results, instead of the man-made super problem solvers. Coexisting in harmony with nature is the key to a beautiful sanctuary. You can see who is a true gardener just by looking at the natural beauty they have surrounding them.

We are now starting to wind down from the height of the season and the craziness but please do us ALL a favor.....next season be a little less demanding, a little more patient and... FOR PETE'S SAKE DO A LITTLE RESEARCH!!!

ANGELO

Showing Emotions Through Music

2009-05-14T09:35:00.000-04:00

A few days back on Facebook, I was sent a music video on my profile wall by a beautiful man who in many ways changed my life. I do wish, for many reasons, that we could make a relationship happen but I am here and he is in Italy. He is a very passionate man and strong in his convictions.

So......as I said, he sent me a video of an Italian songstress from the 1960's. Her name is Ornella Vanoni. I had never heard of her until now but have fallen in love with her voice and her style. I think she is the embodiment of Italian music from that era. The song which my friend chose to send me is entitled "Una Ragione Di Piu`" loosely translated as "A Reason For More." The moment I heard it I was able to pick up on not only her emotions but the emotions that amico mio was conveying to me. Although I cannot understand all the words I picked up on the message and felt sad. I truly believe that music can bridge language barriers and even emotional barriers that keep us from expressing things with our own words.

Since I can't seem to be able to upload the video here is the linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lut-OPfeTMc...enjoy the passion and emotion!!

ANGELO

The Lonely Doll

2009-04-20T07:12:00.000-04:00

Do you recall a certain book from your childhood that was like a security blanket? A book you felt drawn to and couldn't stop reading over and over again? This is that book for me, The Lonely Doll. I read this book every week in the school library for a year when I was in elementary school. I was six years old.

The simple story was written and photographed by Dare Wright in the early 1960's. It involves a Lenci (Italian made) doll named Edith who is sad because she is lonely. One day two teddy bears (Mr. Bear and Little Bear) appeared and became her friends. The rest of the book tells us of their adventures, Then, one rainy day, Mr. Bear went in to town . Edith and Little Bear discover a dressing room and make an awful mess. Upon his return Mr. Bear becomes angry when he sees the mess so he spanks both of them. Edith is so upset by this that she can't stop crying because she is afraid that the bears will leave her and she will be alone again. They clean up the room and apologize. Edith asks Mr. Bear if he will promise to stay forever and he says yes...forever and ever...the end.

The reason I feel I was so attached to this book is because my parents were going through their divorce at this time and I used this book to guide myself through this ugly and emotional period in my young life.

I have a copy of this cherished book now. A woman I barely knew gave it to me one Christmas. Funny, she was worried I wouldn't like it because it wasn't perfect. When I opened the package and saw the book with it's black binding tape, I was instantly transported back to the second grade. When I opened up this book and smelled the familiar scent of the exact story I had held all that year......I cried!

I can NEVER thank Cheri enough for giving me the most magical gift! I shall treasure The Lonely Doll for ALWAYS!!

ANGELO

Reality TV?....Really?

2009-04-12T07:38:00.000-04:00

An intelligent aquaintance of mine, Stan, typed this in his update on Facebook. "Stanton is wondering why the crap that is reality tv is still on the air."

It certainly made me wonder why most everyone I talk to is caught up in these shows. Sure, I have watched a couple of them when I am relaxing for a few minutes, but most people I seem to come in contact with in my daily life have at least one reality show they follow religiously. My thought is...WHY? Why would you devote yourself to some of the stupidity that is on these types of show? Is it because we are natural born voyeurs? Do our lives pale in comparison to this type of programming? Do we enjoy watching other people's struggles, disappointments, heartaches and overblown opinions?

Frankly, I don't believe any of them ARE true reality. Everyday life is the true reality. Showing someone you care is true reality. Patience for your fellow human is true reality. Helping someone in need is a true reality. Having the courage to change the things you can....having the strength to accept the things you can't change...and having the wisdom to know the difference IS true reality amico mio!!

What's your opinion?

ANGELO

Gardening: A Life Preserver

2009-04-03T06:38:00.000-04:00

Before explaining this picture, I would like to apologize to any of my readers for me taking such a long sabbatical from posting. I realize I didn't really post so much material that anyone who liked my musings would starve to death; but alas I apologize wholeheartedly.

This picture is of the life preserver I have been thrown by my landlord. I approached him a few weeks back and asked if I could turn this unsightly area below the stairs to my apartment into a shade garden for myself. He was thrilled that someone would want to do such a thing. Yes, I can imagine all the negative Nancy's thoughts bouncing through their brains. "Of course he is thrilled! You will be putting a lot of time and money into his property." "You will be improving his property for resale value." "Why bother when you are just renting and will eventually leave?"

Let me explain. Gardening to me is like breathing. I feel alive, excited, calm, relaxed, invigorated, challenged, imaginative, artistic, joyful, dreamy....in essence, euphoric! When I am pulling weeds, digging in the dirt, pruning, or just relaxing amidst my bountiful reward I feel a happiness and peacefulness that can only be compared to being in love. If this little corner of someone else's property can get me to experience those feelings I would be stupid NOT to partake in it's effects. So now you understand the thinking behind the title of this post.

So now I hope you understand, at least a little, where my reasoning emerges. I am going to write future posts on the progress of my garden in case anyone is interested. If I can convince one person to dig into themselves and find that euphoric feeling through gardening then my writing has done it's job. Until the next post...HAPPY GARDENING

ANGELO

The Witches of Eastwick?

2009-02-21T07:37:00.000-05:00

The reason for writing today's blog is because I was informed by my friend Raistlin (upon hearing that he actually reads my blog...color me surprised!!) that I have never mentioned my friends here at home. I must admit he is right. So here is my first post about the circle I run around with on a regular basis.

When I decided on the title of this blog I was thinking of the actual movie but only because that is what Raistlin Newton, Michael Leonard, and I call ourselves........The Witches of Eastwick. Raistlin is the character of Jane who is soft and a pushover in the beginning of the movie but turns into a pushy broad with an ever increasing "I don't care what people think" attitude although sometimes I feel he should be Darryl VanHorn aka the Devil :). Michael Leonard is the tell it like it is Alexandra and I of course am the questioning, thoughtful, somewhat naive Sukie.

For the most part we hang out together quite frequently but our normal rendezvous is Sunday Brunch and that normally takes place at Union which is the popular "go to be seen" restaurant. We have been known to stay out WAY past the allotted brunch time or eat our brunch, have a bloody mary or two or maybe a cosmo and then retreat on our Mary way. I can easily see us still meeting for brunch 30 years from now :) but of course it is not guaranteed because life throws so many curves.

We each have our faults but they are minor compared to our friendship and we let each other know when one of us is out of line...I believe that is a good thing...you know, the good with the bad. I am going to be introducing a new member to the fold and hope he will be received with open arms. We shall see....says the kitty.....fffft...ffffft! It may be somewhat dangerous but I am toying with the idea of singling out each friend in the near future and writing a separate post about them. Dare I?

10 More Tips!!

2009-02-10T07:10:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Wilmaryad Ben O'scallas writes a blog, www.bmblf.blogspot.com I like to read as my morning newspaper. He is quintessentially the gifted author of many, many well though-out posts and prose. His latest entry concerns the global recession. It was such a good piece I had to give readers 10 more tips on how to survive this recession.

Like Wilmaryad pointed out, it is not like we haven't experienced many recessions and hard times before this. Although this is felt around the world, I believe that many of the problems are created by the grossly demanding, whining Americans. I could NEVER have enough time in my life to write about the entitlement attitude in this country. Anyway....I digress.

Here are the tips I promised:

1. Cook at home. Not only does it save you some major cash but also gets you out of the "I need to eat first" rat race. For those of you who are single: cook like you would for a family of four and freeze the rest. One other benefit of you cooking is that you control what you eat. It's better than trying to add/delete things on the menu to fit your diet at an expensive restaurant.

2. Simplicity! I can not stress this enough. Simplicity in your thinking and way of living is the key you need to unlock the success in your life. If you have an overabundance of "things", that is just more to worry about. Which in turn gives you a higher stress level. Always strive to simplify, simplify, simplify.

3. Learn a new language. This will not only prepare you for a trip abroad but will keep you occupied; avoiding the urge to go shopping, going out to eat, or going to the bar for a drink. These things all cost money.

4. Surround yourself with people who think they need to do their share. I realize this can be a little selective. Do you really want to be friends with someone who might think only of himself?

5. Walk more....drive less.....carpool. Not only does this benefit the enviroment and your wallet, it will give you the daily exercise your body needs to keep fit. It's a win, win!

6. Think to yourself, is this a need or a want? You will be surprised to realize how much actually falls into the "want" category.

7. Instead of buying everything new, try purchasing items from a different venue, such as estate sales, auctions for furniture and thrift stores for clothing and household items. It takes patience, time and creativity for these forms of shopping but it pays off in the long run and it is recycling materials instead of relying on manufacturers to make more products. If more people shopped this way there would be quite an impact on those HUGE box stores.

8. Instead of renting a movie, check one out from your local library. You would be surprised at the selection. The point is....it's free. Those movie rental fees add up.

9. While at the library check out some books and enjoy the pastime of reading. Fewer people actually read a good book these days. Before you know it books will become extinct because everyone is too busy using energy for the computer......isn't that what I am doing now?

10. Get back to nature. If possible turn part of your yard into a vegetable garden. Not only will you get a sense of satisfaction but you will eat better and save a lot of money. Trust me!

ANGELO

Per Noi by Andrea Bocelli

2009-02-02T09:20:00.000-05:00

Romantic Song anyone? I have fallen "in love" with this song 'Per Noi' by the gifted singer Andrea Bocelli.

Here is the translation:
For Us

For us
I thought of so many things you don't know about
A different love like that
So I never want to lose you

Hot pearls on your face
Tears that I will gather
You will smile amidst my fresh promises
You will hear these words of mine
Already honest

The two of us, like this,turning our backs on the world
Here facing a sunset
You will listen to the sound of life stretching away peacefully
And you will understand

Dark summer storms remain a nonexistent memory
And I will hear sounds in the sunset now
It's time to stay with you
Here and now, holding each other tight, not to part again
If that is what you want

For us you know,
from afar I caressed a different love like that, still thinking of you
Softly you opened your coral lips on me with your kisses
Back turned on the world, like that
As it goes slowly by I know I'll hear
Sounds in the sunset, now
It's time to stay beside you
And you'll understand
holding each other tight
not to part again
If that is what you want

For us
I would grow
A different love like that,
inside me-here
I take everything that you are

The Lake House

2009-02-02T08:40:00.001-05:00

A small piece of information for those of you who don't know me, I am so far behind in the viewing of movies that you will find I am blogging about the ones that have already gone passe; but alas are new to me.

'The Lake House' is one such movie. I came across the title while searching for a different movie. I decided to rent it and to my delight I was not disappointed. As anyone can tell, by reading my posts, I am a hopeless romantic. I honestly believe it is the thing that keeps me going through life and staves off the bitterness so many individuals acquire with age.

This movie, starring Sandra Bullock(one of my favorite actresses) and Keanu Reeves, is another idea about love transcending time and space. You have to possess an open mind and heart to believe it is happening. The romance revolves around a beautiful glass house on the lake, a dog named Jack, a mailbox, a chance meeting at a birthday party and a book written by Jane Austen, Persuasion.....which is about a couple that meet and fall in love but it is not the right time so they part and ....wait. The reason I liked this movie...like all movies I enjoy is because it gives the viewer a different perspective.....HOPE. Hope being one of the main building blocks of our lives. ALL things are attainable if one just opens their heart and mind to the endless possiblities. Hope gives you strength...courage...faith....and a will to challenge average beliefs. Are you up for a challenge? ANGELO

Testing...uno, due, tre...

2009-01-14T04:42:00.000-05:00

Today I am putting my broken Italian to the test. It is Andrea's birthday on Friday and I am calling a local florist(fiorista) in Udine, Italy to order a delivery of flowers to his residence. I am quite nervous but have prepared a sheet of scenarios and translations in case no one speaks Inglese. I know I will feel better once it is over and I hear from Andrea that everything turned out the way I wanted.

You see, instead of going through an international floral company that had nothing I liked but also charged an arm and a leg, I wanted to ask for certain flowers to make my own arrangement. Andrea's favorite flower is the sunflower(girasole) and I wanted to add some deep blue delphinium(fiori azzuro) with some native greens all tied into a bouquet(mazzolino). I figured if I did it locally it won't cost as much and I get what I REALLY want him to have. What I didn't realize was all the different scenarios that could take place...I laugh to myself.

Hopefully I will get someone who can match their broken Inglese with my broken Italiano :) Wish me luck(fortuna). ANGELO

Always Italy

2009-01-13T09:19:00.000-05:00

Buon Giorno Amici Mio!!
I wanted to update you on my dream of living in Italy.
It is a slower process than I originally imagined but a very natural one.
By saying "natural", I include not only researching the country but slowly melding into it.
I have always been one to hate being rushed and when I am rushed, I make mistakes.
Therefore, I feel better that I am taking things slower and learning what comes to me naturally.
Not only does this include history, geography, language, social concepts and lifestyles but alas the elusive topic of AMORE :)
I am going with my gut instincts and letting what I feel to be the BIGGEST change of my life take place, again, naturally.
You see, I believe I fell head-over-heels in love when I visited my friend Andrea this past September.
It is a good thing we have so many miles separating us because I tend to fall hard and fast. The distance between us has allowed me to think clearer and learn more about this man. Only this week did I discover a major plus in his character. Humbleness! A wonderful quality in my book. You see, I knew he was a curator for a small modern art museum...which is a fabulous thing in itself but he never elaborated any further. This week after looking for his museum's mailing address online I thought I would Google his name for fun......WOW!!!...I was amazed. This man is a stunningly accomplished individual in his field. He not only is the director of his museum but curates other museum's exhibitions, he is an author, AND is a recognized art critic in Europe. He has won awards for his work and yet is so unassuming about it.
To me, this is just the frosting on the delectable cake!
We are going to meet this March in New York City for 5 days. I can't wait to share all I have learned with him :)
ANGELO

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

2009-01-12T10:19:00.001-05:00

I have been M.I.A for quite some time now. I must apologize but life seemed to happen and there was no room for blogging. My briend Wilmaryad commented in a note to me that he wished to see more postings from me. I made a promise to do so. I view my blog as a personal life journal and it is time I kept track of events, friends, loves, ideas, and family. I have missed doing so because I do LOVE to write. I hope everyone out there who passes thru and even is interested enough to stay a while can benefit in some way from reading my posts. Happy day everyone! A special congratulations to Wilmaryad Ben O'Scallas for being an uncle once again and being honored by his cousin in remembering him affectionately. It's the little things folks....always remember that...the smallest thing can change so many lives!! Angelo

A Hopeless Dream?

2008-11-11T09:48:00.000-05:00

My friends, the last two days have been very sad for me. Over the weekend I decided to investigate further my dream of teaching English abroad(TEFL) in Italy. That dream looks like a bleak one. I had believed the wages would be a good amount but it turns out not to be sufficient. To those who know me, I am usually quite the positive and upbeat thinker but this has beaten me down to a depressed state. I feel lost and crushed. What am I to do? I am hoping that I can think of another way to achieve my dream but for the moment it is not coming to me. I hope the sadness does not last long because I don't like the control it seems to posses. Any ideas?

Angelo

Italy: Day One

2008-10-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

In case anyone out there is interested in hearing about a personal account of my holiday to Italy, I am sure the next dozen or so posts will fill everyone in. When you hear the term "La Dolce Vita," it is truly an accurate phrase describing my journey....BUT....none of it would have been possible without the kindness and generosity of one man in particular, and I owe him so much; but at this time can only offer my gratitude. Without Andrea I would not have experienced Italy on such a personal, beautiful and insightful note. Mille grazie Andrea!!!

The flight to Venice was quite long and tiresome. While on the plane I had conversation with an older gentleman and his wife. During about half the flight he fell asleep and then proceeded to fall over onto my shoulder..lol...I did not really mind. Although there were meals and movies and people watching to distract oneself, it was too uncomfortable for me. I was REALLY glad to see that we were arriving in Venice. This was the only part of my holiday I did not enjoy although I guess it was an ends to means.

I arrived in Venice on schedule and then proceeded to take the bus to the Mestre train station. I accidently went to the bus ticket window and could not find my way to the train(bigliaterri) ticket window. I dare say I must have called Andrea 10 times before I actually got on the train. I have never ridden a train before and it was quite confusing for me...now, I am like a pro. I was lucky to have Andrea there to help me through my little disaster..lol.

My nerves finally relaxed and I took in all the beauty and mysteriousness of a strange land. I finally arrived at the last stop, in Udine. I got off the train and received a phone call and was told to turn around and...there he was.....a beautiful man waiting for me. We walked towards each other and embraced and then walked to Andrea's flat which is in the centre of the city. As we walked I was not only listening to him but soaking in all the sights and sounds and smells of the vibrant city which would become even more lively in a short few hours. We arrived at his flat on Via Valvason (it is a very nice living space about 80sqm) I was so tired I took a nap. I awoke and we went out for a walk through the center of town because they had a wine and food festival for the weekend and he showed me points of interest. We stopped at a clothing store and he told me he thought my sport jacket was too big for me(the cut of the jacket) so we looked around and found a versatile jacket with a removable liner to be either dressed down or up. My first piece of European clothing...lol., and then after a couple hours we wound up at a tent where he introduced me to two of his friends who are artists (they make fashion wear out of felt wool) and who he met while attending school. Their names are Barbara and Emanuela. Barbara was able to speak in English but Emanuela knew very little, we communicated anyway between Andrea. Everywhere I looked was beauty...the landscape, the buildings, the people, the shop windows...the quality and attitude of life was especially beautiful!

We went back to his flat and he proceeded to cook me dinner of fresh orrechiette pasta with red onions, peas and olive oil. YUM! Something so simple yet so delicious. We sat up and watched a little television and then went to bed. I had a full day in so it was heaven to finally go to sleep and especially with a living dream :-) ANGELO

I Have Recovered...I Think?

2008-10-24T10:17:00.000-04:00

As I recall my recent trip to Italy I feel a longing that is so strong it brings up emotions from deep within. It has taken me this long (since my last post) to recover and sort out everything I took in through the eyes, ears, and mouth. I am in the process of putting into writing everything I experienced. Eventually I will post my recollections and hope someone out there has experienced Italy on a similar level. For now I am going to try to figure out how to post a few pictures at once....I am not computer savvy :-)

I Am Finally Here!!!!!

2008-09-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it!!! I am finally here in Italy and it is not a dream!!! Even though I had to go through a lot to get here, it was ALL worth it. On Thursday evening I realized I lost my passport...I know, I know. I was in a panic come Friday morning but with some quick thinking,calling and a free ticket to Chicago that day I got my passport renewed. The next morning I was off to the airport bright and early by 6:45 a.m. I was in Philadelphia by 8:45 and then had a long time to wait and the same when I arrived in New York. Finally at 7:45 I was headed to Venice. The plane ride was a long one and I am not looking forward to the return trip.

I arrived in Venice at 9:45 and took the bus to the train station in Mestre and from there it took me to Udine to meet Andrea in person for the first time. The first time I set my eyes on Andrea I was excited and felt my heart leap into my throat. He is a beautiful man but now that I have been with him for a few days, he is also beautiful on the inside! I appreciate so much that he opened his home to me and has taken on the role of my Italian professore. I don't know if he realizes just how much I appreciate him.

I have learned a lot of different things since being here in Italy. Different ways of travel, communication, politeness, fashion, attitude, and simply, living. I have taken a few pictures to help explain my feelings and how I see through my eyes, and to remember all of the beauty.

Volver!!!

2008-09-06T08:37:00.000-04:00

Last night I sat in front of my television with my soft ginger cookies and a glass of milk (rice) hoping to be excited by Volver with Penelope Cruz. I was not disappointed!!!! I was so captured by the passion of the film that I had eaten almost the whole pack of cookies (12) before I realized it.
Volver is directed by the famous Pedro Almodovar. I love his movies because they are definitely seen through a different set of eyes than the rest of the world. I will also watch anything with Penelope Cruz, such a great actress!! This movie portrays 5 women's lives. Two sisters, a mother, a grandaughter and a neighbor. The complicated lives that they are living are eased with such passion and simplicity because of secrets which are revealed slowly as to keep one on the edge of their seat waiting for the truth to be told. The biggest secret of all is a huge surprise. Very touching and poignant. Definitely worth the watch, especially by yourself with a dozen cookies and a glass of milk! Angelo

A Revelation

2008-09-04T15:58:00.000-04:00

Today I had an unequivocal, heart melting breakthrough. I have truly forgiven my grandmother for extremely hurtful things she had said to me. These are things that caused me to move out of her house 1 year and 7 months ago and not speaking to her since. It has taken me that long to come to an epiphany that my grandmother was only acting out her beliefs and that I shouldn't take it personally anymore. I was lying in the tub thinking about her the other day and realized that I see life the way I do mostly because she shared her 'La Dolce Vita' with me. She is the one responsible for bringing passion, beauty and vitality to my life. The whole reason why I see things the way I do. She is the reason I have my goal and dream of living in Italy. Without her I would just be another empty soul going through the motions of life. Thank you Nana......I love you Nonna....Angelo

The Fountain

2008-09-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

I have just recently watched this ultimate fantasy art film created by Darren Aronofsky. What an utterly blissful love story it is, transcending time and even incorporating our beliefs/or not of everlasting life. The subtle nuances of this film are definitely worth watching not twice, but at least three times. The main characters, played by Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz are acted out to perfection. Even the soundtrack written by Clint Manzell is an ethereal collection I just had to find so I could listen to it over and over. If you are a hopeless romantic such as myself then you will definitely want to watch this movie!

Gay = Gossip?

2008-09-01T12:22:00.000-04:00

My quandry today is....Why do gay men gossip so viciously? Since I work in a gay bar(unfortunately) I am actually speaking of a certain percentage of the gay men that make the bar scene part of their existence. I believe that these men love to listen to and perpetuate gossip. Not only do they perpetuate it but blow it up into such a proportion that the person it is aimed at has no chance of surviving with any shred of dignity in the so called "gay community". These guys, in my opinion, gossip because their lives are so empty. It makes them feel like they belong and have something to talk about. I ask you, if this is the quality of discussion, does one really want to live inside the circle we call the gay community? Not me!!! When this type of animosity exists? I grant you, some guys deserve to pay for the things they have done but let the old adage "what goes around comes around" take care of them. There are times that I am quite disgusted to be a part of the gay culture. This is one of those times.......SAD! Angelo

The Missing Link

2008-08-18T10:44:00.000-04:00

This mid-morning is a grey and cloudy, somewhat suffocating kind of day. I am standing inside the laundromat I visit every week, waiting, with a heavy impatience, for my clothes to finish drying. I drift off, thinking the way I do, about my life, pondering it's existence. What is the "one" feeling, need, key to happiness that I yearn for to reach that feeling of utter completeness? Someone to love and someone to love me. Now, this seems like such a simple proclamation but such is not the case!!! If I examine this with a little more scrutiny I must understand what this means to me.

Someone to love.........to me, the person I choose to give my wholeness to, which in essence means, not only my heartfelt emotions but my understanding and acceptance of the person they truly are. I would like to exist for them in the sense of knowing their likes and dislikes, the way they interact with other individuals, and how they view life as it pertains to them. I want to do this but not to the point of compromising myself. I believe a certain amount of compromise truly helps a relationship grow and attain the level of respect you desire from your partner. Of course, the basic issues of respect, trust, monogamy and deep love are the foundations of any relationship. I would also require beauty of the inner self as well. I want to hear Puccini when I look at him.

Now, when speaking of someone who loves me........another story......well, sort of. I am prone to think that one's life is constantly changing, as does one's views and opinions. I can only hope that "the one" will treat me as an equal, no matter how our status compares to one another. I want someone who cares that I have had a rough day and tries to make it better. One who knows what I am thinking and how I think. One who knows what is important to me and respects those things as equally as his own importances. The man who loves me must posses confidence, and the ability to except me as I truly am! I would like to be swept off my feet, but not in a big way, small endeavors count more to me. Each relationship in life evolves differently due to many factors. I can only hope that the next "man of my dreams" is the actual missing link in my life....and now the waiting begins....as I laugh and crack a knowing smile. Angelo

Achieving My Goals

2008-08-14T12:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I took another step toward my goals of moving to and working in Italy. I was able to apply for a passport!!! I felt another layer in my armor of constriction lift from my mind. I shall have the first ingredient to my feeling of "La Dolce Vita" in 3-4 weeks. I have been studying the climate, culture, language and passion of my long lost homeland. When someone looks at me, I am perceived to be a true German. I may look like a man of German descent but my heart and soul are that of an Italian. It is like I am destined to live my life in the Italian-style. I know at this point I want it bad enough that I am willing to open doors within myself that have been closed for years. I wish I had a video camera or at least a digital camera to record my steps of transformation and chronicle my goals as they are reached. Maybe I can find some extra money somewhere to purchase one. Until my next outburst>>>>>>Angelo

Movie Wisdom

2008-08-04T13:15:00.000-04:00

It is a wonderful thing to watch a movie and actually learn something you can apply to your own life, no matter how small. I was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" last night. I am sure a lot of you are familiar with this wonderful romantic comedy. Although there are many great stories and lines within the movie, one line really hit home with me. In the picture above, Cortona's crazy blonde Catherine, who Francesca befriended, is telling her "never lose your childhood enthusiasm." How true I feel that is, because when we lose that innocence we tend to become complacent and dried-up. I also feel that particular statement ties in with romance as well. People always seem to say "I don't want to get hurt again" well people, part of the ability to love is to be willing to endure the pain that comes along with it. Io sonno insperabile romantico! Ciao, Angelo

Time For A Lesson

2008-07-30T09:39:00.000-04:00

I am working as a bartender for now. I have problem at work I am going to address tonight. My relief has been late by at least 20-30 minutes, sometimes 45, every Monday night. This has been going on since April. I have talked to him about it and I think the owner has as well but it continues. I feel this is a lack of respect for me. I also open the following day to find he hasn't done this or that when closing so I turn into his maid, picking up after him so I can do my job.

TODAY IT STOPS! I am turning the tables. I will be 1/2 hour late tonight to relieve him and will continue to do so every Wednesday until he gets the picture or I leave, whichever comes first; I actually hope it is the latter. I usually don't use these tactics but I am finally at my wits end with this stellar employee. I will post results if there are any *EG*

Angelo

Dating???????

2008-07-29T09:30:00.000-04:00

I think things have changed in the dating world since I last tried. I won't say how long it's been since the last time I was in the dating game but it has been long enough to recognize some obvious differences.

The HUGE difference is the use of the computer incorporated into everyday living to help you find someone who is desirable to date. I still prefer the old fashioned way of meeting a live person and sending a few flirty looks their way and then meeting each other to talk and possibly go out on a dinner date. Now, you hop on the computer, look at profiles, get a little insight and then decide to meet. I don't think that works as well. My experience with it has not been too good. Guys lie about who they are and what they like and some guys even go so far as to post an older picture that is hot but then they turn out to be NOT. Why can't everyone just be honest with themselves and have a little courage to accept themselves because the more you accept yourself, the more likely you will attract someone who will like you despite the flaws you THINK you have.

I have not had a run of good luck with dating this time around. Sometimes I wonder if it is me. Are my expectations too high? Dammit!! I want the best match for me if I am going to find Mr. Right. I think the standards of the general population has been decreased to a fault. No one seems to care about REAL living anymore. It's all about material things, television, celebrities lives, status. I don't care about those things, they bore me. I want someone who cares about good food for a healthy body, true friendship, passion, living their life to the fullest possible. I'm talking about JOI DE VIVRE!!! LA DOLCE VITA!!! Think about it.

Angelo

Used and Abused=Friendship?

2008-07-29T09:15:00.000-04:00

I suppose I will get over the feelings of being used eventually. The same friend who I have been helping in the hospital is causing these feelings of being used by him. We have been so-called friends for over a year now and there has always been more give on my part. I have a car, he doesn't. I seem to pay all my bills....even though I struggle, he is always behind and eats out a lot. He always seems to get financial assistance and I won't apply because I am proud. He works 3 nights/week, I work 5 days and nights. I am usually giving him a ride somewhere, doing an errand for him....oh and I forgot, I am also his counselor because he calls me everyday(at least 4 times) to help decide his life. Did that sound a little bitter? I think it's time for a new friend; for him.
Angelo

Compassion or No Compassion?

2008-07-21T12:06:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOD!!!! TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY!! I know Wilmaryad will be saying "wow, I think I'm FINALLY getting through to Micky", well that's partially true O'Scallas...;-) The other part is that I am angry with a friend of mine and I need other opinions to help me realize if I am wrong to think this way. Here is the plot. I have a friend who is HIV+ and is a diabetic. He has landed in the hospital because of an abscess in his foot caused by a staph infection known as MRSA(methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus) which occurs in patients with a low immune system. He is going into surgery on Tuesday and the doctor said the infection might have gotten bad enough that they will have to remove three toes. This is thoroughly depressing him. He can't believe he is going to lose three toes. He acts like it's the end of the world. I told him he is lucky not to have to lose a whole foot.
The reason I point this out is because the man does not take care of his body the way he should. He eats a lot of fast food. He doesn't like to cook even though he gets help from the government with food every month. He drinks heavily and parties all the time which includes different types of drugs. He has a viable vocation but won't use it to his ability because he owes money for his student loans and they will garnish 25% of his wages. Even if that were true, he would still have enough money to live on. So now he is behind on rent and other bills, so he has a social worker coming in today to discuss getting his rent paid and he is bitching about what he has to go through to get government help!! Am I not feeling compassion for this man as a friend? Yes, I feel bad for him because he is sick, I feel bad because he is losing a few body parts but what will it take to make him wake up and realize that there are people out there worse off than he is and yet they are determined everyday to make their life count. I get so angry with him always with the "poor me" attitude because I am one of those people who strive to overcome my limitations, not to mention the fact of the millions of other individuals FAR worse off than I am. I have been there for him and will continue to be there but sometimes I just can't take it so rather than screaming at him I will use my blog as a sounding board. I thank God I have this attitude about life and for the very few true friends I have that keep me going. Please let me know what you think! Angelo

Are You Healthy? Really?

2008-07-21T09:11:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder about your health? I think about it a lot. I am a 45 year old male and I have a chronic disease but I believe that if I eat healthy, try to exercise and keep a positive attitude that I will live a relatively good life. For example I try not to use the city water supply but I am limited on how I can control that because I live in an apartment and filters on my faucets are too expensive for me. So I am at risk to the pollutants. I try to eat fresh but then I'm not totally convinced the "organic" food I am buying is truly what they say it is. So I am at risk to their chemicals and altered food. I take vitamins but I am told I should be taking whole food supplements instead. So I check them out and of course they are five times the price of regular man-made vitamins. Well I'm screwed there! Then, if that's not enough, I read that our grain supply is loaded with mold!!!!! That is in almost everything we eat! What is one supposed to do to stay even sort of healthy? The only thing I feel one can do is to own a piece of property and grow everything you need to exist. Is that feasible? In my opinion, yes, but only if there were more hours in a day or you lived with several other people that shared in the same goal. What do you think? Angelo

The Gift of Living

2008-07-14T08:58:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spent my day off from slavedom enjoying the peace and tranquility with 2 friends at their little slice of heaven on earth. They live in an old farmhouse out on 4 beautifully maintained acres with the white picket fence, two dogs, some chickens, a pool and best of all, the dreamy aroma of they're many "Mimosa" trees in bloom!!
What could be more relaxing than laying in the pool soaking up the sun and smelling that delicious fragrance. If you have never smelled the blossoms you are surely missing a treat that fills the nostrils with elusive pleasure and makes the mind believe they are in heaven!! This tree also goes by other names: silk tree, silky acacia, and pink siris. It's latin name is Albizia Julibrissin. It's natural habitat occurs from Iran to Japan. It was introduced in the U.S. in 1745 and has since survived in the south-east areas. My earliest recollection of this tree comes from my Italian grandmother who did not give up when she planted it on her windy, northern Ohio farm. She waited for a few years for it to flower because it kept getting killed back by the winters but she finally got to witness the tree in bloom and the love affair began! Once I saw the tree and smelled it, my love affair had also been ignited. So you can imagine my complete surprise and delight upon discovering that my friends have not only one Mimosa but many of these delicious trees. Like I said, heaven!

So, I spent the day and part of the evening with my friends cooking, conversing, reading, walking, eating, and best of all, getting to know them a little better. A VERY good day indeed. This is what I speak of when I mention "quality of life"!

ANGELO

A Heartfelt "Thank You"

2008-07-01T09:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, while publishing my post, I made the error of leaving something out that is very important!!

A simple and heartfelt "thank you" to the best of friends and my brother. He is the one and only person that keeps me headed on the path towards my goal of a lifetime. If it were not for him, I would not be trying to reach it in the first place. He has given me the idea, the courage, the knowledge, and the resolve to take on such an epic move in my life. The world is definitely a BETTER place with him in it! If you would like to find out why I think that....go to HIS blog located at www.cruciblecrucified.blogspot.com. I am certain you will come to appreciate why I feel as I do about him.

Angelo

Fulfilling A Dream Is Not Easy

2008-06-30T10:02:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about moving to a foreign country. We were talking about a place to live and in which city, a job to support myself, average wage, visas, a passport, dual citizenship and selling ALL my belongings. ALL MY BELONGINGS! When making the decision to start life in another country, I seemed to either forget or not realize that I would have to travel VERY light to save money.

Most things are easy to part with for me. It's just stuff!.....but the very personal items are a whole other matter. My music, certain pieces of art(definitely not expensive),certain papers, memories, pictures, and some small objects. These "things" are mostly sentimental so it will take A LOT OF THOUGHT for me to decide what I must leave behind. It makes me sad to think of this but I know I must do it in order to fulfill my dream of living abroad. The dream eases the pain. The adventure and the thought of "going home" to a world I know I belong to brings me joy and therefore overshadows the pain of choosing what to take with me on my glorious journey.

Angelo de Gioia

Il Sole = Healthy?

2008-06-18T13:37:00.000-04:00

I have just come in from laying out in the sun. Is this a healthy practice?

I have always been told that the sun is the best source for vitamin D. Just how much is a good thing? I love to go out for about an hour or two a day. I just lay there, relax, and think about good things, projects I want to achieve and people I know. It's such a good feeling to soak up the rays and feel all that warmth plus the "glow" of healthiness that comes with it.

Medical personnel will tell you the sun causes skin cancer if over-exposed. Maybe so, but it seems to me I have read that skin cancer is on the rise only because one puts the poison known as sun block on their skin; which is a whole other issue I don't want to address right at the moment.

I have always said "moderation is the KEY" and I believe it for anything we do in life!

I hope it's sunny tomorrow!!!!!

ANGELO

Somebody's Watching Me

2008-06-08T11:11:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you but I feel like there is always someone watching me when I either use a credit card, my cell phone, give out a zip code at the Target, and anywhere else we might use our personal data for "security" purposes. I feel as if the government knows EVERYTHING about me, yeah, right down to when I go to the toilet because I told the person I was speaking with online "brb, I have to go pee".

THAT is scary to me!! Why do we let ourselves get caught up in the number system? A lot of us just are too tired to think about it but we ARE being scrutinized on a daily basis. We go to the store to purchase a bracket for a shelf, we stand in line WAITING and just so we speed up the process, blurt out our zip code or phone number to the cashier when she, like a robot, asks for it. Next time you are in line tell them "I would rather not", if they give you some flimsy excuse like "we need it for security reasons" or "it speeds up your return" tell them no anyway. I know I feel better that one less person is doing the "nosy rosy" routine on me!

Angelo

The Mighty Hercules

2008-06-01T14:26:00.000-04:00

Who remembers this cartoon from the 1960's? I had long forgotten this statuesque hero of my childhood, then only 5 years old. How I loved waking up in the morning to watch this mythological man save the day with his sidekick Newton. I would watch him, mesmerized, fighting the evil villains. I even memorized the title song by singer Johnny Nash as a tribute to my affection for Hercules. Little did I know.........I was falling in love for the first time in my life. Why don't you take a look and see if your heart doesn't skip a beat!Funny how a memory can hold on so vividly even if it has to wait forty years to come back to life! :-)

Angelo

Prima Voce!!!!!

2008-05-19T10:19:00.000-04:00

Cecelia Bartoli is the name I speak of when I thought of the title. I am a fan of a style of music which I believe is becoming a lost art: opera. My favorite roles are those sung by what is called a Mezzo-Soprano, a deeper timbre and very full melodic range that pleases my ear. I have always favored the older artists from the Enrico Caruso period up to the early 1970's, and those were fewer as the years progressed. There is now Cecilia, who's voice moves me to distraction and makes my heart swell with emotion, ESPECIALLY with this piece heard hear!!!...a tribute to Maria Malibran.

The ability to stir emotions in people with her voice is a gift from God! Give it a listen!

Leona Lewis: Bleeding Love

2008-05-17T10:30:00.000-04:00

I realize I can get a little behind on the music that keeps coming out at breakneck speed but this is an utterly out of this world musical piece! I love her voice and her style!!!

Too bad she has disembedded her great videos on YouTube!

Is Happiness a Relative Term?

2008-05-07T08:12:00.000-04:00

Do you wonder if you are happy in your life? To what level do you go to achieve bliss? How do you know when you have reached the peak of peacefulness? I am going to give you two different scenarios; two totally opposite lives with just a few similarities and you must decide which person you think is happiest. I would love to know which individual you choose.

The first individual is about middle-aged, relatively good looks, and a better than average personality. He is an honest and good man, sometimes to the detriment of himself. He can be a day-dreamer and quite philosophical. He tries to treat other individuals the way he would want to be treated and sometimes goes out of his way to do so.

He has had many ups and downs in his life and has met them all with the optimism he tries to keep in his heart. He has worked as a dishwasher for Ponderosa Steakhouse to owning his own businesses. He has been to catered social events for the elite and also partied with country folk in a run-down, well-worn local bar. He enjoys socializing with all walks of life; as long as a spark of intelligence is evident. He takes pride in his home surroundings, which are kept simple, which is the way he tries to live his life; SIMPLY.

There is just one problem with his life, he has a weakened state of health, actually a chronic disease that prevents him from doing a lot of things in his life.

Comparatively we have a woman who is also middle-aged, so pretty she has never needed make-up, and a very bubbly, overflowing personality. Definitely the life of the party. She is a good person and honest. She would do anything for you(within reason) if you ask her. She had never given much thought to life as a young women. It never occurred to her, things were just the way they were. She had her own life to live. She ended up with a good husband who provided very well for her and her beautiful little girl. They lived a very close lifestyle to the "suburban dream". The little girl never wanted for anything. They never had money worries and perfect health.

Two years ago, the day before Thanksgiving this women suffered a brain aneurism. It has taken her a long time to get where she is physically today. Mentally she is quite the same women in her values and judgments.

Which individual would you say has come the closest to achieving true happiness.....and why?

ANGELO

Ahhh Sweet Mystery Of Life At Last I Found You??

2008-04-27T21:35:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder about what I am doing in this great big world....no security net to catch me if I make a mistake or slip on a "banana peel" of life. Why am I here? Why do I get to know people? What is the point of feeding myself with nutritional food and taking care of others? What is the bond that draws one particular being to another and sometimes with an unbearable lightness of being that it just bathes over your whole existence!!!!????

Do you ever sit and wonder to yourself about these thoughts and feelings? Of course you do! Do you want the truth dashed with a forthright answer? or would you like to hear the unadulterated, programmed into our heads version. If you're a free thinker, like I try to be, then you would want the latter...am I right? Okay, so here is the truthful, forthright, freethinking answer you require.

YOU

Yeah, it is you........all about you...only YOU!

OR IS IT?

ANGELO

The Pleasure of Gardening

2008-04-20T14:43:00.000-04:00

This is the time of Mother Nature's calendar I love the best!.....and miss the most, as a gardener. Gardening is proven to reduce one's stress level which of course adds to one's life calendar. Gardening, to me, encapsulates so many ideas, feelings, artistic expressions, and personalities. To me, few things take precedence over the utter intoxicating joy and peace of mind that overtake me as I dig my hands into the soft, dark brown, rich earth or tenderly groom a plant. Even the mere act of providing food and water fills me with an overflowing happiness.

Saying "and[I] miss the most" stems from having my own "Eden" for many years. This magical place was my refuge from all of life's complications. It has been almost 4 years now since I have had the joy of taking my coffee into the garden in the early morning hours while weeding. Listening and conversing with nature while admiring her wondrous beauty! My heart aches thinking of it.

I now reside in the attic of an old home surrounded by sumptuous flowering trees. Though quite beautiful, my gardening is reduced to flower boxes which mainly contain herbs and a few favorite annuals. Although this helps to quench my thirst and remain at one with Nature, I long for my "Eden"once more. It is a love that transpires ALL other loves!

My completeness is gone for but a moment, when I shall once again create my "Eden." Another place, another time, another stolen moment of tranquility!

ANGELO

Oh L'Amour!

2008-04-10T19:41:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking constantly about love, relationships, heartache, and everything that ties into these subjects for two reasons: my two friends who have had recent bouts with anxiety brought on by the subject matter, and my resistance to even think of beginning another possible relationship; even after three years of single living.

Each friend has an opposing view to each other on how to go about committing themselves to a romantic encounter, let alone how they view the physical side of a relationship.

The first friend is very passionate about his feelings, he gets excited about the physical appearance.... i.e. yumminess.....BUT gets even more excited about the mental and romantic capabilities said heartthrob may possess. I can say by pure observation that you would not find a more loyal companion! He needs someone who will occupy his mind, body, and soul because he will most definitely give you these things in return as your reward. I pray for the day love produces a bullseye in the middle of both his heart and his head. He deserves to feel such uncompromising and true love.....and then some!

My second friend is equally passionate about his relationships (there are many).....until he either gets bored or something about the guy angers him that he cuts him off before he realizes what has happened. He is definitely into the physical side of the relationship...he needs the stimulation like the rest of us need air to breathe and believes he is "in love" with evry plausible possibility he meets. He is a nice enough person but also not my idea of a companion. You will never be sure of loyalty or promises with this guy. Unfortunate!

Now for me, I fall in the middle of the two friends. I am the oldest, and have had more experience than the first friend but not nearly the quantity of my second friend. I look for both mental and physical stimulation. I prefer someone who is knowledgeable of the arts, good food, and who is in tune with nature and himself. Loyalty, honesty, and respect are the big three values I hope to find in the guy I fall for.

Thinking of all these things and not settling for less, it would appear I am chasing an elusive dream, maybe, but it is one dream I will follow to find out the long anticipated ending. I hope to one day discover the joy of sharing my life with a "true companion"; feeling the utter completeness and beautiful serenity of it all! WE ALL DESERVE A BIT OF THAT!!!!!

ANGELO

A LOFTY GOAL FOR AMERICANS?

2008-02-12T14:16:00.000-05:00

A life of SIMPLICITY, I feel, is a very unattainable goal for most Americans to achieve and I fear it has stretched out it's cancerous idea of "the american dream" to other civilizations. The very high-energy, stressful, competitive nature of the "american way" , which we defend as democracy and our God given right, is seeping like a tumor into other cultures and destroying the good that has existed for thousands of years. There is something to be said for technology, yes, but when it takes over the senses and sensibilities of a nation, it is a slow death to the naturalness of humankind.

Living SIMPLY is totally the choice of the individual; but it requires an understanding of the rewards and benefits to truly appreciate the beauty of the concept.

There are a multitude of reasons that this evolution of sorts has taken place. To name just a few....laziness, greed, opportunity, pride, and the attitude I will always shoot down in my blogs;"the pied piper syndrome", following the leader. Living a life of simplicity signifies and requires your individuality! The "american ideal" is actually not ideal at all! To live up to that level you must undergo tremendous stress and pressure in your daily existence, so much so that you run the risk of bringing on illness long before you might have ever experienced it in later life. Does that qualify as a reward? Does constantly being on edge bring about a reward? Always worrying about how much money you earn or things you acquire compared to the "national average"?...ie.....do I have the "right" car, the "right" home, the "right" clothes, and above all, wondering if you made the "right" choices that will "set you up" for your retirement? Is that a reward? All of these riches are bestowed upon you for achieving the "american dream"!
If all this is what it takes to reach that goal, definitely COUNT ME OUT!!!!

A life of SIMPLICITY reaps rewards beyond your imagination!! You will usually outlive your stressed counterparts, and if not, will die a happy, at peace individual. Let me give you just the tiniest glimpse into the world of SIMPLICITY.........

I woke up today(without an alarm clock) and my first thought was, what a beautiful day this will be! The reason I am able to think and feel this way is because I am debt-free, I have beautiful, sumptuous food to eat, I love my work(definitely NOT a 10 hr day), I have valuable friends and loved ones around me, and most of all, very few worries because I am myself and freed from the chains of the so-called "rat race". Bucolic isn't it? You could also relish this existence!

Would you like the education and knowledge to achieve this NOT so lofty goal? It's already in your head. You actually think of it everyday without realizing it's true meaning. It's just waiting for you to release it. You just have to re-train your thinking. As they say, "knowledge is power!" The power to control your destiny. I did not however say it would be an easy task but the rewards are on a much more grand scale than the so-called rewards you reap from the "american dream"!!!!! Think about it!!

Angelo

A FRIEND.. OF A FRIEND.. OF A FRIEND

2008-02-10T12:26:00.000-05:00

Friend, a noun the dictionary defines as "a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts." I will add another word to their definition.....loves. Such a simple explanation of a word yet so complex in it's usage.

One can be referred to as "an old friend", "best friend", "just a friend", "fairweather friend", or even "friend of a friend." Friend is used to describe a work colleague, an aquaintance, and yes, the bond between two individuals for what ever reason it exists. It can be a very casual relationship or an intoxicating, lively, and passionate adventure. At any rate, a friend is there for you to talk to and do things with when no one else seems to care.

It is quite difficult to fit the idea of friendship into a neatly wrapped package because there are so many twists and turns in the emotions of the definition. To me, above all else, friendship encompasses truth and trust. Without those you can not have a relationship of any sort.

A person experiences the many levels of friendship throughout their life. Like true love, most people will never come into contact with the deep inpenetrable bonds of a "TWIN SOUL". I chuckle to myself knowing where I heard that term used, because my "TWIN SOUL" Wilmaryad proclaimed the rights to it's usage to describe our friendship. I can only say.....DITTO!.......I have never experienced such a bond in all my 45 years!!

My briend~~~I want to take this moment to thank you for your patience, guidance, understanding, thoughtfulness, kindness, your witty sarcasm, thought provoking conversation, glorious insights and MOST of all, your superior, tender heart!

FRIENDS4EVER
ANGELO

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!!

2008-02-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

Here it is Wilmaryad Ben O'Scallas!!!
Without your insistence and gentle prodding I would not have done this for myself. You, my friend are the REAL DEAL!! Shakran! Merci Beaucoup! Grazie! I look forward to my first posting!